Day 1 of my holiday!!!

Is TIRING!!!!!!!

Haiz... play with baby is fun, but is mad tiring... even before going for my faovrite torturous classes, half my energy level is GONE!!!

Doesnt help when I haven been to saddistic class for so long.... aching everywhere...

Greatly disappointed

I do apologise. sincerely.
But, you are wrong in wad u too assumed just like wad i had presumed. But I will take back what ive said.
And now I know, I will stop asking about anything.
Do what you want as long as you are happy.
Everything is my fault ok?!

Sian...

No need to hide anymore. Cause, it's going to be known like sooner or later...

Haiz... knew practicing in Amore is no hiding place for me...

Cfm ppl will see...

Hate to be recognized. Hate it even more knowing I cannot avoid the questions.

Though...

Thurs I was damn evil, when asked I pretend I nv hear. Opps. But they know lah. Zzzz, got eyes to see, not stupid...

I was so disappointed with myself on Sat... That my mood was quite affected. On the verge of crying but I know that I will be scolded by my other coursemates if I say tt, cause they think I did fine. As compared to some of them. But still, it's my own expectation that I didn't meet that's why I'm upset.

I was tired and hungry and distracted and the music was too slow for me. Stupid, up till now still can catch music below 135 bpm...

When it's my turn, I screwed up... in my own perspective. And my prestretch cueing? I actually have things to say but I blanked out. ARGH! Wth.

And I have hunch back... hahaa, abit lah, but instructors spotted it.

Up till now, I have:

1. Energizer bunny, bounce non-stop

2. heels nv step down

3. TOO FAST

4. hunch back

hahaha... and my skin is still bad... as in a less visible area but if I lift hand up... can see lah... stupid deodorant, and I blame myself for letting myself lose control of my weight... it's partially e reason for e skin problem.

Ok.. I'm tired. Too tired. And, wanted to take part in Code Jeanius but Im too damn tired. I know I will regret not trying again, but haiz.... I stare at the pair of jeans now, I can think of nth...

Time to dust my blog

Sneeze....

Long time since I update!! Been tired n falling sick again...

Finally I'm too damn tired to even go for my favorite Sunday classes... And I fell sick...

So as to avoid being nagged by everyone I know who will nag, I went home to rest aft practical lessons...

Yeah, I'm stressed... I look fine to u but tt's me... I will act crazy to show u tt I'm not stress...

Practical demands is getting tough... Was hoping to escape presenting my warm up with pre stretch but too bad....

I feel so stupid... Ok, e 2 blocks of Chereo I still can finish it... Prestretch I finished but it's a big flunk... I cannot even think of wad to say...
But I'm glad tt I'm one of e 2 ppl yesterday who presented who finish everything...

And it's with e stupid mic... I dunno but I feel like I eat battery... Lol cause when my turn is a new battery den e next person tried, e battery has to be changed... Did I take so long?????

Need to practice more... Sat we went to practice at citysquare... Sat feels horrible to me cause I'm sick...

Apparantly it's throat infection... n my flat foot gave me problems plus!!!! I keep nearly twisting both ankles....

Tks god I dunno e ppl there... Phew... But we'd practicing again... At pm... Damn...

At least I tink I settled my warmup chereo juz Idk how to transit teaching from right to left and I didn't ask yesterday...

Next week mirror move... Yao si... Thought tis week escape next week will not suffer for haiz...........................

I have expectations for myself... N I dun deny I feel stressful e more e ppl around me knows...

Cause more n more ppl Noe unintentionally... It already doesn't help tt e inst noes... I do feel stressed over it but thank god for them too... :) I Noe e reason is enough! :)


-Jesseca Posted using BlogPress from her iPod

Sensing

It nv cease to amaze me and at e same time annoy me to be able to sense tt something is not right...

Usually I'm able to sense tt there's something going on and usually I'm right. Too sensitive? Maybe but it's juz weird.

Now I just want to ignore it and as I mentioned, everyone is just as double faced... As me.

Keep up with e weirdness, i will keep up w my pretentious ignorant but, I'm just hiding behind a mask so stop treating me like an idiot. I'm not dumb to not know tt ppl r toking behind my back.


-Jesseca Posted using BlogPress from her iPod

Supposing Monday blues... But!

Idk wad happened but woke up with a bad mood n just so sleepy... Despite trying to slp early last nite... Sigh...

U might be saying Im always slot n I'm a piggy but I'm really sleepy to e extend that I start to shut down when I have chances to stop doing something e.g in e train...

Yesterday train ride home was total ko for me... I was staring at tis guy sitting on e floor eating rough salt but my eyes auto shut off and I was unaware of my surrounding for e whole ride home... And when I woke up I start to have mild headache and I was a little lightheaded...

Tis morning is another day where i slept while standing in e train... N I dun deny feeling weird and dizzy... And I was in a bad mood, Idk why n I can't shake it off... Even now... I was dizzy so I went to get breakfast instead of attending my lect n i just dun feel like toking... Since I woke up, the only things I open my mouth to say is just to get my breakfast... At least after breakfast e dizzy feeling is gone but e bad mood n sleepiness is still here!

Diy dye my hair again... Still not satisfied w e outcome... N my hair stinks now... N e hair spray I like is no longer selling in watsons!!! Ke wu!

I'm so damn sleepy... N I Noe I'm a crazy ger... Someone ask y do I make myself so tired... I dunno how to reply... Maybe cause making myself tired is one way for me to relief stress so I won't think so much?

Now I'm tellin ppl who knows what I'm doing on my weekends to not tell anyone else... It's really damn scary cause somehow this spreads n more ppl know which I tink is stressful... In a way it is cause that day one of e instructor told another member im going to be future a.i ... I can only stun n laugh but in my heart I'm saying oh god...
I'm afraid of failing so e less ppl Noe e better...

This is what happens when I'm in a bad mood and totally want to be alone... I talk and type rubbish n just keep many other things to myself....

Essay submission on fri... I'm glad my previous essay will be able o help so I dun have to panic and redo... I already wrote 10%... another 90% to go which I plan on doing slowly... Cause I am having brain block now...

Tml will do, in fact tml will be busy day... I've to come back to sch to do e insurances stuff... Sian.... N tml have to celebrate 2 pols bdae!!!!

Shall cont rotting... I will have to open my mouth to talk later better start shaking off e feeling no matter how difficult it is... N I need to find bdae presents later plus going for workout later to kick away my frustration n cfm will have to not show a bad mood face cause ppl will ask...

-Jesseca Posted using BlogPress from her iPod

Updates...

Well, I know I haven update for very long, but since the day I last blogged, in which I was sick... I was sick for 4 days... :)

Initially the cold became worst aft I thought I was fine and went for stfit, turn up I had fever e whole night and the whole of sat... And my appetite was very bad for days...

Sooooo, my plans to workout failed... hahaha! Until sun.
Sun went to collect Awdo pack and enjoyed my lunch, treat myself nice food but sadly aft eating was feeling so uncomfortable. Argh!
Aft that survived thru sadistic's classes... I'm already recovering... But...

Piano Exam was a load of my shoulder...
But, haha, it's 3 days aft me slowly recovering... So, erm, I get stressed up I will have gastric problems... :)
My appetite nv improve...
And basically when i'm sick, I was not someone you would sleep in the same room with... I was making alot of little noises cause I can't breathe properly due to block nose... And e medicines were too strong...
Had to see doc for two times...
So basically, I just sooooooo lucky to catch e "big" illnesses all at once for this year...

Ok, just one pic, for my birthday!!!!!!!!

Yes, I celebrated at Ritz Carlton again. The staffs were so wonderful and I'm really thankful for the wonderful birthday n services they always provided me for the past 5 birthdays...

And all the thoughtful cards n presents n wishes... All pics on fb, I lazy to upload too much here...

~

Next AWDO, Initially thought I couldn't make it, but my law exam was approved that I can take on a later date... So, I enjoyed the event but, the heat really kills.... I survived the 3 hrs challenge though I wayang-ed thru the first two segments. Only word, LOST...

It's too damn packed... and i kick someone not in kickboxing, but in hilo... cause she stick too close to me on the rite, n like want to move yet dun move...

Ok some pics taken on that day...

With Bong, instructor in Amore... and Afni and Debbie! hehe!

My dearest "grandma's" who pei me thru e 3 hrs with lots of laughters... without them, it's hard to survive the 3 hrs...

With My dearest meimei caryn and jasmine and desiree (sadistic instructor :P)

Lastly, this is a very unglam shot of me, all heated up aft 2 hrs of hilo and cl and doing kb...

With a comment from my evil sister saying she cannot see me, den my dearest meimei took this unglam shot... and god, many ppl I know who didnt join just to support suddenly appear infront n I hv no where to hide... hahaa!

~

AIC started the day aft AWDO... only one word... Siao... I was so tired yet I cant slp cause of the 3 hrs marathon plus big gulp of coke....

And the class starts at 8.30am... I was late, and I stoned thru......

U ask me wads energy transfer... i cant answer... Opps...

Basically its damn stupid to go for awdo a day before aic... hhaa!

Coming sat is practical... I'm looking forward to it... but 9.30am to 6pm.. Sigh...

I would say I'm blessed cause although I hate it, I noe sadist is trying to force me to remember and know what muscles I'm using...

I'm blessed of helps I received so far...

I dunno how to repay these in future but without them, I think I will be so blur...

And seriously, without them I wont be motivated...

And not forgetting that Im pushing myself to the limit as I don't have long breaks in uni meaning, I'm loading to my maximum from all these...

I will do my best...